oh hey whats up

the whiskey sour that put me over the limit

2006-01-27T15:12:57Z

i think i have a pretty too crucial headache.

hot 97? will you help me get through today?
hot 97? will you help me get through life?
heaaaaavy hittazzzzzsuckaaazzzz

IM THE SUCKA CLEARLY AND FRANKLY AND ONLY AND WHOLLY

BDAY PARTY AT WORK

2006-01-25T16:32:44Z

the medical director yelled at me for putting the brownies on top of the cake during the celebration for january birthdays. i'm the asshole. look at me. i'm the asshole.

jenn & i are thinking about getting beanhead BFFTATTZ but that'll probably put the stops on our 9+ years as friends right there. i should probably clean the bathroom when i get home tonight. maybe that will keep our friend status afloat a little longer.

DUHHHH

2005-12-24T15:05:20Z

Tin Omen. You obviously have some opinions about
making political and/or social change via
demonstrating in some sort of rally, or maybe
you've even been in a few revolutions. Either
way, you have particular ideals for society and
hold them pretty dear.

Which Skinny Puppy song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

DIET COKE AND A ROLL AND A COFFEE = $2.75 AT EUROPA DELI

2005-12-23T13:05:27Z

I SURVIVED THE TRANSIT STRIKE BECAUSE I HAVE A CAR!!!!!
I THINK I'M GOING TO HIBERNATE THROUGH NEWYEARS/MY BDAY.

PEACE IN THE EAST
TOO MANY HOT APPLE CIDERS WITH RUM ON A THURSDAY
I LOVE MY FRIEND SABRINA

POLISH DESERTS

2005-12-16T15:40:59Z

on my way back from purchasing some BABKA!! from the polish babkerie, a commercial van drove by and the driver yelled something -- i'm pretty sure--- no, maybe positive it was "YOURE GONNA HAVE A BABY!!" i mean maybe it was like "HEY PRETTY MAMA BABY" (except that i look really gross always) but in my pre-caffeinated state, it could've really been anything with that approximate number of syllables, and which included the word BABY -- except that like - the van said something like CLAIRMONT - OR WAS IT CLAIRVOYANT INDUSTRIES on the side of the van!!! SO IM GONNA HAVE A BABY YOU GUYS. A FUCKING BABY CAN YOU BELIEVE IT??

also: CHECKIT: UCHHHHH ON EVERYTHING / UCHH RE: A CERTAIN DUDE / UCH RE: MY BDAY & NEWYEARS COMBINATION

I SAID BRRR ITS COLD IN HERE THERE MUST BE SOME CLOVERS IN THE ATMOSPHERE

2005-12-05T18:43:38Z

DUDE THERE IS NO HEAT IN THIS OFFICE BUILDING
AND WHEN THERE IS NO HEAT IN THIS OFFICE BUILDING
PRODUCTIVITY GOES DOWN!!!

THERE WILL BE CAKE TO CELEBRATE DECEMBER BIRTHDAYS
ice cold!!!

ONLY ONE WEEK LEFT TILL I ALMOST LOSE ALL INTEREST IN TV!!!

2005-12-02T13:04:03Z

WELL THE GIRLS IN GROUP 2 REALLY PROVED THEMSELVES LAST NIGHT AND OBVIUOSLY IM TaLKING SPECIFICALLY AND ONLY ABOUT MAKING THE BAND 3. you dont have to show skin to win!!!

OTHERWISE:
i just wanna be done with this crushhhh and so POOF i will be.
my boss told me to SHUT UP! at a meeting
i had to borrow 40 bones from pettycash because of $holiday spending$
JAMZ FM AND SAMMY
i want everyone to move within walking distance of my apt. think it over.

COSCO

2005-11-27T17:53:04Z

my dad put me on his cosco membership, because like, if i ever need anything in bulk he wants me to be able to have access to shit in bulk. i mean, i have to pay for the stuff in bulk - but now i have access to whatever it is i need... in bulk. so if you guys need like 600 reams of paper but you don't really know where to procure said paper at discounted prices - let's just say i know a place & i got a picture ID to get us in there.

holyshit i'm such an adult to the maximum fantasticum.

carcin0gen @ 2005-11-10T22:10:00

2005-11-11T03:12:36Z

"if i had any special power / superhero power - it would be to have really powerful magnets at the ends of my fingers... really powerful bone magnets that rips the bones from out of your body so that your skin falls loose to the ground."
"yeah dude. you'd be called bone magnets."
"yeah... i would be called bone magnets."
"we really gotta write some of this shit down."

EEEEEEEEE

2005-11-04T06:36:44Z

WHITEHOUSE @ ROTHKO TONIGHT SANS EARPLUGS AND/OR SLEEP. MISTAKE!!
I FINALLY FULFILLED MY FANTASIES OF HAVING TWO MIDDLE-AGED BRITISH MEN CALL ME A CUNT IN FRONT OF A ROOM FULL OF PEOPLE. <333

UPDATE

2005-10-29T13:44:07Z

a new phone with a camera is overwhelming all of my senses/sensibilities. i'm slightly longing for the days of my chrome/sepia shithouse 9 pounder.

carcinogens

2005-10-18T18:02:44Z

oh my god. thanks to my job i can't stop thinking about cancer, or beryllium disease. I'M PRETTY SURE I'M DYING. PRETTY SURE.

carcin0gen @ 2005-10-07T18:16:00

2005-10-07T22:20:17Z

i wanted to get these sickass babyphat hoops but instead my mom gave me really boss hoops that are kind of restretching my ears. that's pretty much the only news other than the year uhh 5766 which dominated my fucking week. that and work. working overtime/through lunch and never getting paid for it since i'm salaried. bitch bitch bitch. peace & pizza grease.

SEPPUKU

2005-09-30T00:31:33Z

With his sword placed in front of him and sometimes seated on special cloths, the warrior would prepare for death by writing a death poem. With his selected attendant (kaishakunin, his second) standing by, he would open his kimono, take up his wakizashi (short sword) or a tanto (knife) and plunge it into his abdomen, making first a left-to-right cut and then a second slightly upward stroke to spill out the intestines. On the second stroke, the kaishakunin would perform daki-kubi, a cut in which the warrior is all but decapitated (a slight band of flesh is left attaching the head to the body). Because of the precision necessary for such a maneuver, the second was often a skilled swordsman. The principal agrees in advance when the kaishaku makes his cut, usually as soon as the dirk is plunged into the abdomen.

BAD LUCK 13

2005-09-29T06:07:55Z

OH COME ON 2005 JUST ONE FUCKING BREAK, PLEASE!!!

a glass of fat

2005-09-17T21:28:25Z

total bloodbeast: DUDE
total bloodbeast: YOU HAVEEEE TO COME HERE LATER
total bloodbeast: NO FUCKING JOKE
total bloodbeast: I HAVE TO SHOW YOU THIS SHIT ON THE TYRA BANKS SHOW THAT WILL BLOW YOUR MIND APART
total bloodbeast: JOE?!?!?!?!??!?!?!
KickngScreamng: hey
KickngScreamng: sorry
KickngScreamng: i'm trying to do work and it isnt happening
total bloodbeast: OK OK OK HOLY SHIT PLEASE TELL ME YOU KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT THE 50 CENT / VIVICA A FOX BREEAKUP DRAMA
total bloodbeast: because vivca a fox is on the tyra banks show BLOWING UP YOUR MIND
total bloodbeast: like talking shit about 50 cent for 20 minutes
total bloodbeast: its HILARIOUS
total bloodbeast: about like how GHETTO HE IS!!!
KickngScreamng: damn dude
KickngScreamng: how high are you????
total bloodbeast: AND SHE TALKS ABOUT HOW THE MOVIE BOOTY CALL CHANGED HER LIFEW
total bloodbeast: HAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAH
total bloodbeast: VERY

SISTER CHRISTIANS

2005-09-12T19:45:59Z

i'm writing from work because the bosslady went to ohio for spring break!!!!
i think i am meeting sammy K and melissa K at the QUEENS MALL for shopping and rocking and talking and walking!! NONSTOP THAT! my co-worker rosa invited me to her apt. for a party on saturday for her boyfriend jose!!! THERE WILL BE A DJ AND MAYBE SOME DRUGS BUT NO MARIJUANA! BUT MADD BEERS!! HER MOTHER WILL BE THERETOO AND HER SON JOSHUA!! WILL I BE THERE?!? MAAAAYBE. zohara who works across the hall is SURE 2 B THERE!!
samantha also AKA known as sammy now lives 4 party blocks from my apartment and i'm taking advantage of that shit from the hours of 5pm-9am m-f and 24hours f-s. LIVE LEARN & LOVE IT.
if you haven't heard it by now, i suggest you check out this song called HEY YA by this band called OUTKAST, it will rip the eardrums right outta your earholes. AND THAT AINT NO LIEBOMB!!

carcin0gen @ 2005-09-07T19:48:00

2005-09-07T23:53:01Z

dudes & dudettes,

i have a job now. things are way serious in the m-f 9-5 world. my co-workers don't think very much of me, but really - who does? it's only been 4 days, but i'm already pretty sure i have cancer - because thats the research i'm researching all day. oh and by research, i mean alphabetizing. did any of that make sense? probably not, but maybe it will in the coming weeks once i start to complain a whole lot more.

TINKERINGS

2005-08-31T02:09:30Z

this has been the fucking craziest summer for everyone, and like i mean that deadfuckingseriously. everyone knows what i mean. WHAT IS GOING ON. i have a job now. i started today and it's just weird being back into 9-5. i'm driving around my dad's car which i'm parking 1/2 mile from my apt. just so i don't have to parallel park it.
joe is on my bed coloring in WORLDWIDE MONKEY until we leave to pick up sammy from the airport.
i need THE GAP BAND - YOU DROPPED A BOMB ON ME to play in my head at all times as my life soundtrack.

CAR ACCIDENT MOVES!

2005-08-26T19:15:25Z

i hit a car > that car hit a car > the lady in that car yelled "GET OUT OF THE CAR GIRLY!!" and my car looks like a crooked piece of shit. its a few thousand dollars worth of damage says WAYNE in middle village queens. so im kinda stuck here until my car can be fixed and i don't know when that will be. maybe monday.

MAURY JUST ASKED

2005-08-25T22:31:33Z

"well i've seen little people before, but wow... what are you"
followed directly by
"you know i'm looking at you and you know what i'm thinking about right now? sex."

WHAZ UP?

2005-08-22T17:56:24Z

a goodfriend samantha is moving to NEW YORK NEW YORK within/about a month! she needs a room/roommate/mates! if you or your friends fit this description contact me ASAP STAT!!!!

THANKS & SINCERELY

MCM!!!

outside

2005-08-14T21:16:21Z

"MZYKADJKAUUDLKKSHHHHDKKKJJFHHH"
"pardon?"
"MZYKADJKAUUDLKKSHHHHDKKKJJFHHH"
"uh i'm sorry i don't speak polish"
"you'll be dead in five years"
"sorry, what?"
"CIGARETTE MGLORKLIKEN"

GRIZZLIEZ

2005-08-14T00:14:07Z

i went to the bronx zoo yesterday & discovered all sorts of signs & wonders.
people like to complain about how lazy the animals are because they paid big $$ to see the polar bears do some shit. GET THE FUCKUP YOU FUCKIN BEARS WHY AREN'T YOU ROARING OR THROWIN YOUR POOP OR SOMETHING. DON'T EMBARASS ME IN FRONT OF MY KIDS.
grizzly bears eat fistfuls of bees. i tend to think thats pretty fucking badass & fierce. my zoo companion thought that seemed to be something the mentally ill/challenged might do. your thoughts?

carcin0gen @ 2005-08-11T22:50:00

2005-08-12T02:51:52Z

"like i guess shit bugs me out but i guess i don't really think about the undead that much"